yarrr, ye scurvy boy-king, halt ye whinin'

"When do you wear the hook and when do you wear the false hand?" the magus asked with a straightforwardness that surprised the queen.

"The hand is less noticeable," Eugenides answered, unoffended. "But the hook has a number of uses, and the false hand isn't good for anything. So I teeter between vanity and function."

"And when you stop teetering, where will you be?" the magus asked.

Eugenides shrugged. "In the madhouse...or maybe in a nice home in the suburbs, keeping books."

The magus suspected that the very blandness of his voice covered over some ugliness the way a covering of leaves can hide a pit trap. The magus didn't risk falling. He changed the subject.

from The Queen of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner